Introduction

Are you ready to learn how to lead with courage? Across the globe, managers, directors, and executives seek the answer to one core question: How do I become a better leader? The secret lies not in your position or power, but in vulnerability. Speaking your truth, being courageous, and sticking to your values are the cornerstones of true leadership. In this post, we’ll explore the practical aspects of vulnerability, discuss how to make time for it, and highlight the importance of aligning your decisions with your core values.

Reframe Your Idea of Vulnerability

Let's start by asking a bold question: What makes you feel vulnerable?

Vulnerability is something most of us experience, yet we tend to view it as a weakness. I remember feeling that way at the start of my career. I was afraid that showing any vulnerability would get me fired or make me seem incompetent and an imposter. I was worried that admitting my shortcomings would make me appear not good enough. Instead of building real connections, I put up walls that separated me from my colleagues, team members, and managers.

However, I learned that vulnerability is a superpower and a core attribute of great leaders. Vulnerability is an act of courage—it involves saying what’s on your mind and being honest with yourself and your team. The word "courage" comes from the Latin word "cor," meaning "heart." To be courageous is to speak your mind by sharing from your heart.

Vulnerability is the foundation of innovation and creativity. It requires being open to failure, and often, you'll need to fail multiple times before finding that one idea that moves everything forward.

Create Moments for True Vulnerability

Courageous leaders carve out time to talk from the heart by giving and soliciting honest feedback. For example, if you create a culture of honest communication and vulnerability where your employees can speak their mind, they might share concerns about your unrealistic time management, highlighting the need for clear communication. While hard to hear, this criticism fosters growth and transformation.

Research shows that most people avoid being clear when talking to others, mistakenly thinking it’s better to avoid honesty. This avoidance leads to long-term problems that will continue to grow. To prevent this, schedule regular check-ins with your team to relay concerns or problems.

The first step in solving any problem is to get curious. Rather than apologizing and sweeping problems under the carpet, genuinely listen to your team. Use probing questions like, “Tell me more about how this plays out for you.” Remember the 8-second rule: extreme discomfort lasts no longer than 8 seconds, after which it gets easier.

Take a few deep breaths. and pause before responding. You don’t need to have answers right away. Show your team you’re committed to finding solutions by taking time to investigate the problem properly.

Encourage Sharing and Honesty in Meetings

To foster a culture of vulnerability and curiosity in meetings, it’s essential to create an environment where open communication and honesty are the norms. Until it is a norm, begin each meeting by setting a clear expectation that everyone should speak their mind and share their genuine thoughts and concerns.

Encourage team members to express their feelings directly and candidly. For example, if someone feels frustrated during a meeting, acknowledge their frustration and invite them to explain why. This not only validates their emotions but also provides an opportunity to address underlying issues and find solutions together. There is a lot of wisdom in our emotions, and strong leaders will utilize the entire team's wisdom, knowledge, and intuition.

By setting these expectations and leading by example, you create a meeting environment where honesty and transparency are valued. This direct and no-nonsense approach ensures that all voices are heard and respected, leading to more effective problem-solving and stronger team cohesion.

Address Knowledge Gaps and Missing Information

Organizations are made up of people constantly seeking patterns and stories to make sense of their world. When there’s a lack of transparency, people create their own stories, often leading to misunderstandings and inefficiencies.

As a leader, check in with the stories your team members are telling themselves. During rocky periods, block time for check-ins, where team members share their observations and the stories they’ve created. This practice promotes transparency and helps correct misunderstandings.

Stay True to Your Core Values

Keep your values at the forefront of your mind - they should influence all your decisions. When things get difficult, your values will help point you in the right direction. Identify your 2-3 key values and use them to shape your actions, particularly in challenging times. It's better to focus on a couple of values rather than having too many - this makes them easier to uphold and live by.

Perfectionism Blocks Great Leadership

Perfectionism is a significant blocker to vulnerability. It’s not about self-improvement but about seeking approval. This damaging belief system leads to people-pleasing and performance anxiety, preventing true engagement and growth. To become a powerful leader, you need to discard perfectionism and embrace the courage to make mistakes and learn from them.

Conclusion

True leadership is rooted in vulnerability, courage, and a strong adherence to core values. By embracing vulnerability, leaders can foster genuine connections, innovation, and growth within their teams. This involves open communication, honest feedback, and the courage to face and address challenges transparently. Ultimately, letting go of perfectionism and understanding one’s core values are essential to becoming a more effective and inspiring leader.

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